Bonjour!
Sorry for the lack of decent updates, the hubby and I have been busy little beavers as of late. Currently we are trying to gather everything for the Dossier and it is turning out to be something of a challenge.
One of the things you need for the dossier is a criminal clearance from your local police station, written on a letterhead, stating that you are free of criminal activity. This little document has given us more trouble then anything else so far. There doesnt seem to be an officer willing to do this for us, even though when you think about it, writing a simple one sentence letter is not that hard.
We did however manage to get another document for travelling that basically states we are criminal free, so it is kind of like what our Agency requested, I just hope they accept it, because we paid quite a bit to get it, and we had to REDO our criminal checks in order to get it.
I actually had to leave school early in order to make it to the station before it closed, otherwise i wouldnt have been able to get it for over a month as I am in school for 26 days in a row, for 14 hours a day! Luckily we made it about 5 minutes before close, and they had forgotten to give us the travellers clearance paper, which was the reason we got the criminal checks in the first place! Weasles, I tell ya!
We also got our doctors written letters. Which was another slight struggle. But what is adoption without struggle!
I must say though, it feels amazing to be powering through all of this. We have nearly collected everything we need except for our completed homestudy report and our passports. Once we recieve that, we pretty much just need to notarize, and then SEND! Once it's sent it is pretty much just waiting, and waiting some more for a picture of our sweet angel! I CANT WAIT! It won't be long till i have his photograph, and until i can see my son, and say that i actually have a son!!
The best is yet to come...
Friday, February 10, 2012
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Thinking of him...
February...
is this the month that my son is going to be born? If everything with our adoption goes smoothly ( fingers crossed ) our son could be here before christmas, which means...he could be being born this very month.
The thought overwhelms me. On one hand, its amazing to think that somewhere out there, he is already alive, the little guy who will change our lives, who will be a part of them until the day we die is a million miles a way, in Africa, not yet knowing of us, or of anything that awaits him in the future.
On the other hand, it's devestating to think of what situation he might be facing, or will be facing until the 1-2 years when we finally hold him in our arms. Obviously he is going to have to face something major that will land him in an orphange, where he will then have to face many more dangers before he can come home safetly to us. I worry about how hungry he could be, how lonely, and how we are ready for him right now, but we have to wait, while he suffers in an orphange.
I see my nephew, who is a few months old, with his new clothes, his full tummy and a mom devoted to caring for his every need, and also able to care for his every need. He has more toys then he shall ever need , a clean bum in an expensive cloth diaper, thousands of photographs documenting his young life.
And somewhere out there is my son. Alone hungry and afraid. With nothing to his name, perhaps nothing even on his body. It breaks my heart more than i can say.
All i can do is wait, until the day when i don't have to.
is this the month that my son is going to be born? If everything with our adoption goes smoothly ( fingers crossed ) our son could be here before christmas, which means...he could be being born this very month.
The thought overwhelms me. On one hand, its amazing to think that somewhere out there, he is already alive, the little guy who will change our lives, who will be a part of them until the day we die is a million miles a way, in Africa, not yet knowing of us, or of anything that awaits him in the future.
On the other hand, it's devestating to think of what situation he might be facing, or will be facing until the 1-2 years when we finally hold him in our arms. Obviously he is going to have to face something major that will land him in an orphange, where he will then have to face many more dangers before he can come home safetly to us. I worry about how hungry he could be, how lonely, and how we are ready for him right now, but we have to wait, while he suffers in an orphange.
I see my nephew, who is a few months old, with his new clothes, his full tummy and a mom devoted to caring for his every need, and also able to care for his every need. He has more toys then he shall ever need , a clean bum in an expensive cloth diaper, thousands of photographs documenting his young life.
And somewhere out there is my son. Alone hungry and afraid. With nothing to his name, perhaps nothing even on his body. It breaks my heart more than i can say.
All i can do is wait, until the day when i don't have to.
Homestudy Complete!
As of last night...we are totally, officially approved. We completed all of our homestudy, and now we just await our social worker's report on us so that it may get sent out.
Our secondary Agency in the States also just recieved our documents and payment so now we have the go-ahead to start gathering the needed things for our dossier! Ahh i am so excited, it won't be long now! To think, soon, the congo will have recieved my documents and they will be finding the perfect little angel for our family mades me so excited that i almost don't even know what to do with myself. I don't mean to wish my life away but, I hope the next year or two of my life flys by so that i can have my sweet son in my arms.
Son...It is amazing to think that soon, i will have a son, and i will be a mother. It has been a long difficult journey, a 5 year long journey thus far, and quite honestly, i do believe it all happened for a reason. I was so blind in the past, seeing but not really. Looking back its so obvious that everything that was happening was happening so that eventually i would find the right path. The path to my son, in Africa, somewhere in the congo. Everything just unfolded so perfectly so that i would fall in love with adoption, and Africa, and when we were ready to take our adoption journey, things unfolded perfectly as if it were truly meant to be. ( Which it is! )
The only struggle i have is wishing i would have gone straight to adoption instead of fighting with something that was truly not meant to be. But everything is in its own right time. The right time is now, and i don't want to dwell on such a dark past when such a bright future awaits me. A future whereupon 2 become 3, and number 3, makes us the family we have so longed to become.
Our secondary Agency in the States also just recieved our documents and payment so now we have the go-ahead to start gathering the needed things for our dossier! Ahh i am so excited, it won't be long now! To think, soon, the congo will have recieved my documents and they will be finding the perfect little angel for our family mades me so excited that i almost don't even know what to do with myself. I don't mean to wish my life away but, I hope the next year or two of my life flys by so that i can have my sweet son in my arms.
Son...It is amazing to think that soon, i will have a son, and i will be a mother. It has been a long difficult journey, a 5 year long journey thus far, and quite honestly, i do believe it all happened for a reason. I was so blind in the past, seeing but not really. Looking back its so obvious that everything that was happening was happening so that eventually i would find the right path. The path to my son, in Africa, somewhere in the congo. Everything just unfolded so perfectly so that i would fall in love with adoption, and Africa, and when we were ready to take our adoption journey, things unfolded perfectly as if it were truly meant to be. ( Which it is! )
The only struggle i have is wishing i would have gone straight to adoption instead of fighting with something that was truly not meant to be. But everything is in its own right time. The right time is now, and i don't want to dwell on such a dark past when such a bright future awaits me. A future whereupon 2 become 3, and number 3, makes us the family we have so longed to become.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Our first big purchase!
So i have to be up in a few short hours, to attend school... but I am really excited because tomorrow....My husband and I are going to pick up baby Z's CRIB! Yes, we already bought it, hahaha. I am a little too excited. Over the weekend I have been doing much planning ( I love dreaming up ideas, and plans ) so expect many stuff posts in the future.
Although i am a little depressed that i STILL haven't managed to finish these immigration forms. I have got to finish them, like asap. I did however get the rest of the forms for our other agency filled out and signed and paid, now all i need to do is send em off! Can't wait to be done with all this paper work.
Anyway back to the crib. We found it on craigslist! It's a steal of a deal! Totally amazing!!!
It's the lollipop crib by AP industries but it's in dark brown/black not white.. it retails for about 650-750. BUT, i found it for 250 including mattress and of course NO TAX! WOO HOO....Have i mentioned how much i love craigslist. teehee. We may have even found sock monkey bedding...just waiting to hear back from the lady about it.
So yes, tmw we set out to retrieve the crib, i am dying with excitement. Having a crib makes it all feel so real.
Plus i can have my niece or nephews over for a sleepover in the meantime!! XD
I am also really excited to report that I am embarking upon a new journey of sorts....a DIET. So now this is going to be my weightloss/adoption blog! How fun! I figure it will probably help me to get in good shape so that when i finally do become a mother, my weight won't be slowing me down.
Anyway, more on weight loss soon! Wish me luck with everything!
Although i am a little depressed that i STILL haven't managed to finish these immigration forms. I have got to finish them, like asap. I did however get the rest of the forms for our other agency filled out and signed and paid, now all i need to do is send em off! Can't wait to be done with all this paper work.
Anyway back to the crib. We found it on craigslist! It's a steal of a deal! Totally amazing!!!
It's the lollipop crib by AP industries but it's in dark brown/black not white.. it retails for about 650-750. BUT, i found it for 250 including mattress and of course NO TAX! WOO HOO....Have i mentioned how much i love craigslist. teehee. We may have even found sock monkey bedding...just waiting to hear back from the lady about it.
So yes, tmw we set out to retrieve the crib, i am dying with excitement. Having a crib makes it all feel so real.
Plus i can have my niece or nephews over for a sleepover in the meantime!! XD
I am also really excited to report that I am embarking upon a new journey of sorts....a DIET. So now this is going to be my weightloss/adoption blog! How fun! I figure it will probably help me to get in good shape so that when i finally do become a mother, my weight won't be slowing me down.
Anyway, more on weight loss soon! Wish me luck with everything!
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Planning babies room
I love looking at crib bedding...especially when i know I will have a little someone soon to sleep with it. It's even more fun to look at stuff i will soon be buying now that I know we will be getting our little guy soon.
So I have decided to do a sock monkey theme for baby Z's room! Actually it's more of a retro vintage toy theme with sock monkey's as the primary focus.
I have fallen in love with this bedding:
I believe it can be found on poshtots...it is expensive so i would probably try to make it myself or i will create a similar version of it on babybedding.com for half the price!
I also adore this one, which is much cheaper. I love the material of the sheets and how it looks like sock monkey material! Soooo cute. Found @ babybedding.com.... I also ADORE that bike wall hanging above the bed, but can't for the life of me locate it :(
I really like the color scheme of this one...and i like that the sock monkeys seem bigger...maybe it's just my imagination though. Found @ http://www.2sweetsisters.com/Sock-Monkey-Vanilla-Crib-Bedding-Set_p_12769.html
This red changing pad cover is gorgeous, and is sold from http://www.babybedding.com/solid-red-minky-changing-pad-cover for 39 bucks. They have other colors, including the cute sock monkey material! They have so much cute sock monkey stuff on that site. Lamps, rocking chair covers...but i don't want to overdo it, sock monkey can go from cute to tacky pretty darn quick!
Ah yes, the classic red wagon. What retro room would be complete without this! I plan to also use it to hold toys and stuffies in his room. It's by radio flyer, retails for about 78 bucks, i found one at wal-mart, but you can probably find them anywhere. They even have a matching umbrella for it~ which i probably wont get as it doesn't look like it would protect from a downpour very well.
As evidenced in the first nursery photo, it is imperative that i own this bike for my son! It's too perfect not to have. It retails for 200 bucks, it's by ' airflow collections' and its the sky king trike in red. I haven't found anywhere in my area where i can purchase one, so most likely i will be traveling to obtain one. It'll be so worth it though!
For dressers i am just going to find something black that looks similar to this on craigslist, for under 200 bucks.
I also want to get one of these tall skinny dressers for the corner. They don't take up too much room since they are tall instead of wide. They would be great for storing away socks/hats/gloves/bibs/pjs/ onesies/ recieving blankets. Could find one on craigslist for under 100 bucks im sure. This one in particular is from http://www.gowfb.ca/
I also want to get a hanging hutch like the one above the desk in this photo or shelf unit to hang above his dresser ( The wide dresser ) Again i am going to try to be super cheap and scour craigslist till i locate one.
So I have decided to do a sock monkey theme for baby Z's room! Actually it's more of a retro vintage toy theme with sock monkey's as the primary focus.
I have fallen in love with this bedding:
I believe it can be found on poshtots...it is expensive so i would probably try to make it myself or i will create a similar version of it on babybedding.com for half the price!
I also adore this one, which is much cheaper. I love the material of the sheets and how it looks like sock monkey material! Soooo cute. Found @ babybedding.com.... I also ADORE that bike wall hanging above the bed, but can't for the life of me locate it :(
I really like the color scheme of this one...and i like that the sock monkeys seem bigger...maybe it's just my imagination though. Found @ http://www.2sweetsisters.com/Sock-Monkey-Vanilla-Crib-Bedding-Set_p_12769.html
This red changing pad cover is gorgeous, and is sold from http://www.babybedding.com/solid-red-minky-changing-pad-cover for 39 bucks. They have other colors, including the cute sock monkey material! They have so much cute sock monkey stuff on that site. Lamps, rocking chair covers...but i don't want to overdo it, sock monkey can go from cute to tacky pretty darn quick!
Ah yes, the classic red wagon. What retro room would be complete without this! I plan to also use it to hold toys and stuffies in his room. It's by radio flyer, retails for about 78 bucks, i found one at wal-mart, but you can probably find them anywhere. They even have a matching umbrella for it~ which i probably wont get as it doesn't look like it would protect from a downpour very well.
As evidenced in the first nursery photo, it is imperative that i own this bike for my son! It's too perfect not to have. It retails for 200 bucks, it's by ' airflow collections' and its the sky king trike in red. I haven't found anywhere in my area where i can purchase one, so most likely i will be traveling to obtain one. It'll be so worth it though!
For dressers i am just going to find something black that looks similar to this on craigslist, for under 200 bucks.
I also want to get one of these tall skinny dressers for the corner. They don't take up too much room since they are tall instead of wide. They would be great for storing away socks/hats/gloves/bibs/pjs/ onesies/ recieving blankets. Could find one on craigslist for under 100 bucks im sure. This one in particular is from http://www.gowfb.ca/
I also want to get a hanging hutch like the one above the desk in this photo or shelf unit to hang above his dresser ( The wide dresser ) Again i am going to try to be super cheap and scour craigslist till i locate one.
Crying.....Tears of joy.
I don't even know how to begin this post really. I'd just like to say that 2012...is off to a fantastic start. The sky looks brighter, the trees look greener, everything today looks more beautiful, more magical, as if i am seeing it for the first time. I actually moved my favorite chair to the window just so i could sit there and appreciate a world I couldn't be happier to be in.
Why the sudden mood swing, and all the rambling about the beauty of our world?
It's simple isn't it?
I am going to be a mother.
In other words..... We are APPROVED.
Our homestudy isn't quite complete we still have 2 more visits, but our social worker so graciously told us yesterday during our homestudy that she will be approving us and that she has complete faith that will will be fantastic parents.
I could hardly believe her words as she was speaking them. I thought i had begun to hallucinate. I turned so fast to look at my husband to see if he heard it to, and he was as i am now. Eyes softened, teeth exposed and stretched into the hugest smile that i have ever seen.
This was the moment we have waited for for 5 years. To know that finally, it's our turn, that our waiting is nearly at an end. That there is a little baby out there who will someday be joining our family. To say this was the single greatest moment of my life would not be a lie.
So i sat there grinning stupidly, willing her to wrap things up so that i could explode with joy. Nearly the second she left i just stood there, waiting for my husband to say it. And the words came, no, danced, the words danced from his lips. " WE ARE APPROVED!" He shrieked with joy. I of course shrieked back. For awhile we just stood there giggling, shrieking, and smiling with joy and hugging and kissing each other.
Then came the dancing. Lol. We danced around the house in celebration. It came to an end however when i realized i needed to call everyone who would listen!
To think, I am this excited about getting approved, I can not imagine how i am going to feel once we have a proposal. Ha!
Why the sudden mood swing, and all the rambling about the beauty of our world?
It's simple isn't it?
I am going to be a mother.
In other words..... We are APPROVED.
Our homestudy isn't quite complete we still have 2 more visits, but our social worker so graciously told us yesterday during our homestudy that she will be approving us and that she has complete faith that will will be fantastic parents.
I could hardly believe her words as she was speaking them. I thought i had begun to hallucinate. I turned so fast to look at my husband to see if he heard it to, and he was as i am now. Eyes softened, teeth exposed and stretched into the hugest smile that i have ever seen.
This was the moment we have waited for for 5 years. To know that finally, it's our turn, that our waiting is nearly at an end. That there is a little baby out there who will someday be joining our family. To say this was the single greatest moment of my life would not be a lie.
So i sat there grinning stupidly, willing her to wrap things up so that i could explode with joy. Nearly the second she left i just stood there, waiting for my husband to say it. And the words came, no, danced, the words danced from his lips. " WE ARE APPROVED!" He shrieked with joy. I of course shrieked back. For awhile we just stood there giggling, shrieking, and smiling with joy and hugging and kissing each other.
Then came the dancing. Lol. We danced around the house in celebration. It came to an end however when i realized i needed to call everyone who would listen!
To think, I am this excited about getting approved, I can not imagine how i am going to feel once we have a proposal. Ha!
Thursday, December 29, 2011
It's been too long
I feel so bad, it's been forever since I have posted....
I guess the truth is, I have been avoiding my own blog. Our homestudy is well under way, and every time I think about it, all of my fears resurface, and I can hardly bear it. Everyday I wonder if we will succeed, how we will raise the funds, if we will ever be approved. It seems so impossible, and to think that one day we could be a family with a child of our own just seems so out of reach that even thinking about it seems silly.
I guess you want to know how our home study is coming along....I'd like to say great, but our last visit left me concerned. Our worker is amazing, easy to talk to, and so sweet. It isn't her, it's us. I can see that she has some concerns about our finances, and she is also concerned with the fact that we are the youngest adoptive parents that she has met with. She admitted that to us. She then began talking about domestic adoption and how financially it would work better for us. From the way she spoke of it, I worry that she will approve us for domestic and not for international...if this is the case, i doubt i will proceed. Domestic adoption is just not in our hearts, for a large variety of reasons, it's just not for us.
So i have been feeling rather pained lately when i think of adoption, or homestudies, or my blog. To say it hurts writing this is an understatement. I feel like i am ruining our chances with each homestudy meeting, and i can only just watch the light get dimmer and dimmer.
I guess the truth is, I have been avoiding my own blog. Our homestudy is well under way, and every time I think about it, all of my fears resurface, and I can hardly bear it. Everyday I wonder if we will succeed, how we will raise the funds, if we will ever be approved. It seems so impossible, and to think that one day we could be a family with a child of our own just seems so out of reach that even thinking about it seems silly.
I guess you want to know how our home study is coming along....I'd like to say great, but our last visit left me concerned. Our worker is amazing, easy to talk to, and so sweet. It isn't her, it's us. I can see that she has some concerns about our finances, and she is also concerned with the fact that we are the youngest adoptive parents that she has met with. She admitted that to us. She then began talking about domestic adoption and how financially it would work better for us. From the way she spoke of it, I worry that she will approve us for domestic and not for international...if this is the case, i doubt i will proceed. Domestic adoption is just not in our hearts, for a large variety of reasons, it's just not for us.
So i have been feeling rather pained lately when i think of adoption, or homestudies, or my blog. To say it hurts writing this is an understatement. I feel like i am ruining our chances with each homestudy meeting, and i can only just watch the light get dimmer and dimmer.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Too cool dinnerware!
Another stuff post!
I was browsing about today and stumbled upon the cutest finds ever for babies eating hour!
First i came across the CUTEST thing ever. A runway bib and airplane spoon that light up! HOW CUTE! I can pretty much hear you going aaawwww right now. I am too. And it is only 14.99 at http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/moms/c682/
This set by Skip Hop is so cute. Its 12 bucks on amazon
A train? Trust me it belongs in this dinnerware post. Notice anything on the wheels? Yes! A fork! This train comes apart and becomes an entire dinnerware set. It is quite possibly the coolest thing i have ever seen, and thus, is a must buy! Its called FunWares Chew-Chew Train Place Setting and is 16 bucks on amazon.
I love this set, however i think it's pretty pricey. Like 5-10 dollars per piece. Its the vintage alphabet dishware.
This ones my second fav. Sold by http://www.babybananza.com/pc/rockstards/rockers/rockstards.html Its about 17 bucks
Innobaby din din stainless steel bus plate retails for 17 bucks at http://mightynest.com/shop/kitchenware/dishware/plates/din-din-stainless-steel-bus-plate Gotta have some stainless steel ( I love stainless steel :P )
Reed & Barton Zoom Zoom 2-Piece Baby Flatware Set which is pretty pricey but so cute. Its 25 bucks for the set.
To go with the rest of the stainless steel/silver stuff, i would choose this cup by Lisa Jenks Baby, sold on amazon for about 12 bucks! Its pretty darn cute!
I was browsing about today and stumbled upon the cutest finds ever for babies eating hour!
First i came across the CUTEST thing ever. A runway bib and airplane spoon that light up! HOW CUTE! I can pretty much hear you going aaawwww right now. I am too. And it is only 14.99 at http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/moms/c682/
This set by Skip Hop is so cute. Its 12 bucks on amazon
A train? Trust me it belongs in this dinnerware post. Notice anything on the wheels? Yes! A fork! This train comes apart and becomes an entire dinnerware set. It is quite possibly the coolest thing i have ever seen, and thus, is a must buy! Its called FunWares Chew-Chew Train Place Setting and is 16 bucks on amazon.
I love this set, however i think it's pretty pricey. Like 5-10 dollars per piece. Its the vintage alphabet dishware.
This ones my second fav. Sold by http://www.babybananza.com/pc/rockstards/rockers/rockstards.html Its about 17 bucks
Innobaby din din stainless steel bus plate retails for 17 bucks at http://mightynest.com/shop/kitchenware/dishware/plates/din-din-stainless-steel-bus-plate Gotta have some stainless steel ( I love stainless steel :P )
Reed & Barton Zoom Zoom 2-Piece Baby Flatware Set which is pretty pricey but so cute. Its 25 bucks for the set.
To go with the rest of the stainless steel/silver stuff, i would choose this cup by Lisa Jenks Baby, sold on amazon for about 12 bucks! Its pretty darn cute!
Adoption class 1/5
So yesterday we attended our adoption class, it was our first day out of five days. It was awesome, the people are fantastic. It was so interesting to learn about all of the different countries everyone is adopting from. We are the only Congo bound parents! I have to admit i was a teeny tiny bit disappointed in that. I was hoping to connect with someone who was going through exactly what I was or even someone who was ahead of me in the journey so i could get an idea of what to expect. Currently I don't have any congo mommies to talk to. I tried to befriend one on facebook, I have been following her blog, but she didn't accept me...so I am on my own for now!
When i first got to the class ( we were SO early ) we started noticing that as more and more couples came in that we were the youngest. I admit it had me feeling a little out of place. Most seemed rather established as they were in their late 30s or even older! ( I am 25, but i am constantly told that i look far younger than that ) We got a few stares, but once people got to know us they realized that we weren't a couple of crazy kids, acting on whim, we are serious and passionate about our adoption and want this just as much as they do. I can't even speak enough about how lovely the people were, I definitely don't mind doing another 4 classes with them!
We also talked to the social workers about some of our fears and worries. What a relief to have them calm our doubts. ( Doubts about ourselves, not our adoption ) I finally have begun to feel like this is truly going to happen for us. We are going to finally get the chance to become parents. We CAN and WILL do this!
Monday, October 31, 2011
Worst day of my life.
I have cried until i ran out of tears....I can't even write about it today. All i can do is post these lyrics to a song I keep listening to.
I can't win, I can't reign
I will never win this game
Without you, without you
I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you
I won't run, I won't fly
I will never make it by
Without you, without you
I can't rest, I can't fight
All I need is you and I
Without you
Without you
Oh, oh, oh!
You! You! You!
Without
You! You! You!
Without you
Can't erase, so I'll take blame
But I can't accept that we're estranged
Without you, without you
I can't quit now, this can't be right
I can't take one more sleepless night
Without you, without you
I won't soar, I won't climb
If you're not here, I'm paralyzed
Without you, without you
I can't look, I'm so blind
I lost my heart, I lost my mind
Without you
Without you
Oh, oh, oh!
You! You! You!
Without
You! You! You!
Without you
I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you
Without you
I can't win, I can't reign
I will never win this game
Without you, without you
I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you
I won't run, I won't fly
I will never make it by
Without you, without you
I can't rest, I can't fight
All I need is you and I
Without you
Without you
Oh, oh, oh!
You! You! You!
Without
You! You! You!
Without you
Can't erase, so I'll take blame
But I can't accept that we're estranged
Without you, without you
I can't quit now, this can't be right
I can't take one more sleepless night
Without you, without you
I won't soar, I won't climb
If you're not here, I'm paralyzed
Without you, without you
I can't look, I'm so blind
I lost my heart, I lost my mind
Without you
Without you
Oh, oh, oh!
You! You! You!
Without
You! You! You!
Without you
I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you
Without you
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